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Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections

Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections

  • Paperback
  • Edition: 1
  • Publisher: EMK Press
  • Release Date: July 2006
  • ISBN-10: 0972624457
  • ISBN-13: 9780972624459
  • List Price: $29.95

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Summaries and Customer Reviews provided by Amazon

Summary

Finally, a comprehensive parenting book for adoptive families! Over 100 contributors have helped EMK Press to weave a stunning tapestry of advice specifically for adoptive parents. Parenting adopted children requires parenting with an extra layer and this book helps you to understand where that extra layer falls. This 520 page book is a wealth of information for the newly arrived home family and the experienced family as well. This is "What to Expect" for the adoptive family. It is a book you won’t read all at once, but come back to again and again as your child’s awareness of who they are and how they came to join your family develops and your awareness of how to parent them evolves.

Our adopted children come to us from loss–loss of a birthfamily, perhaps a culture, and sometimes language. There are helpful things that we can do to address these issues, and Adoption Parenting helps you to create an awareness to do just that. We also look at stumbling blocks to good parenting, and standard parenting practices that aren’t the best solution for adopted children.

We look at the core issues all members of the adoption triad face, and look at how that affects standard parenting challenges like sleeping through the night, discipline and attachment. We cover specific challenges families have faced: FASD, trauma and PTSD, sensory integration, speech and language delays, learning issues, food issues, racial differences, and at ways to effectively parent a post-institutionalized child.

We also look at how each of us has been parented and how that affects the parenting choices we make for our children. There is a section which includes articles on Post Adoption Depression, the importance of support networks (both for your children and for yourself) and when and how to find therapists if that is warranted. The book is filled with resources and links to help find more information on a specific topic as your parenting or your child needs.

The contributors to this book include professionals in their respective fields like Dan Hughes, PhD; Arthur Becker-Weidman, PhD; Beth O'Malley,MEd; Adam Pertman; Ellen Singer, LCSW-C; Laurie Miller, MD; Mary Beth Williams, PhD, LCSW, CTS; Barbara Elleman, MHS, OTR/L, BCP; Marcy Axness, PhD; Christopher J. Alexander, PhD; Sharon Glennen, PhD, CCC-SLP; Doris Landry, MS, LLC.

Contributors also include parents who have had to learn to parent the children who have come to them. Many of these parents have become experts as well! The advice and the wisdom they have to share is honest and heartening. Adoptees who are now adults have shared experiences on their growing up that are interwoven in the book and there are contributions from birth mothers as well.

Each person comes to parenting from a different place and the needs their children have are unique. Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections allows the reader to choose which tools are helpful for their particular situation and which are not. This isn't a book about what you have to do to parent, but about perspective, awareness, and understanding that overlays how you parent. This book is designed to help each of us become the best parents for our children and to offer support and connections for families on the journey of adoption parenting!

Customer Reviews

Average Rating: Score = 4.5 Score = 4.5 Score = 4.5 Score = 4.5 Score = 4.5

a must-have

Rating: Score = 4 Score = 4 Score = 4 Score = 4 Score = 4

This compendium is top-notch. A couple of criticisms: The content is highly useful, but the editing needs help. Random and incorrect comma usage was distracting, and there are more than a few typos. This book could use a revised edition (already). Also, read this book to be prepared, but be aware that it is slanted towards the belief that adoptees WILL NECESSARILY HAVE certain issues, feelings, problems, and I think it is dangerous to make such generalizations. It is good to be informed, but put these potential issues in perspective. Your child will also have plenty of issues that have nothing to do with adoption. All that being said, this book was sorely needed and is quite informative.

Very informative and helpful

Rating: Score = 5 Score = 5 Score = 5 Score = 5 Score = 5

This book is very helpful for anyone interested in adoption. It covers everything you'd like to know.

Is Pertman Blind?

Rating: Score = 1 Score = 1 Score = 1 Score = 1 Score = 1

Egads, what is Alan Pertman doing hanging around with this bunch of fringe psychotherapy promoters?

Brain Gym, EMDR, Sensory Integration, Attachment Therapy, Federici methods ("belt-loop parenting"), forced age regression, Neurofeedback, Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy, and Foster Cline's Love and Logic parenting!

These practices range from silly and worthless to abusive and dangerous.

Alas, Pertman has given the well-respected Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute a black eye by legitimizing these unvalidated practices and in many instances, leading trusting parents to practices known to be abusive and dangerous. The APA and APSAC have, for example, condemned Attachment Therapy, which is mentioned frequently in this book. It has been connected with numerous criminal child abuse and death cases in recent years.

Readers will be often mislead by unconventional beliefs about child development and directed to sources which contend that their abusive parenting and therapy methods are the only hope for adopted and foster children (e.g. Attachment Disorder Network)

Look up the BBC programs on Brain Gym to see how idiotic it is having kids tap their "brain buttons" and the like. Pure nonsense.

EMDR is just about as silly. The therapist waves a finger in front of the child's face or taps the child's head while the child is directed to think about traumatic memories. The practice has been shown to be no improvement on simply thinking about traumatic incidents.

Love and Logic claims to be evidence-based, but no study of its effect on children has ever been published.

Like most books that promote quackery, there's some common sense advice added to look plausible.

GREAT!!!

Rating: Score = 5 Score = 5 Score = 5 Score = 5 Score = 5

This is a great book!!! If I had to pick one adoption book from the huge stack I have, it would be this one. I recommend this book to anyone that is adopting or has already adopted.

Focus is really on international adoptions

Rating: Score = 3 Score = 3 Score = 3 Score = 3 Score = 3

I bought this book because I am interested in adopting from the foster care system in the US and I was looking for advice and information about dealing with trauma and attachment issues. While this book certainly contains a lot of information, most of the chapters focus explicitly on children adopted internationally. Some of it might be applicable to foster care adoption, but most of the information seemed pretty un-useful. I found other books much more useful, particularly "Adopting and Advocating for Your Special Needs Child".