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| How Can I Help? Stories and Reflection on Service
Paperback
Author: Ram Dass, Paul Gorman
Publisher: Knopf
Release Date: 1985-03-12
ISBN-10: 0394729471
ISBN-13: 9780394729473
List Price: $12.00
Average Customer Rating:
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Summaries and Customer Reviews are supplied by Amazon.com
Not a day goes by without our being called upon to help one another--at home, at work, on the street, on the phone. . . . We do what we can. Yet so much comes up to complicate this natural response: "Will I have what it takes?" "How much is enough?" "How can I deal with suffering?" "And what really helps, anyway?"
In this practical helper's companion, the authors explore a path through these confusions, and provide support and inspiration fo us in our efforts as members of the helping professions, as volunteers, as community activists, or simply as friends and family trying to meet each other's needs. Here too are deeply moving personal accounts: A housewife brings zoo animals to lift the spirits of nursing home residents; a nun tends the wounded on the first night of the Nicaraguan revolution; a police officer talks a desperate father out of leaping from a roof with his child; a nurse allows an infant to spend its last moments of life in her arms rather than on a hospital machine. From many such stories and the authors' reflections, we can find strength, clarity, and wisdom for those times when we are called on to care for one another. How Can I Help? reminds us just how much we have to give and how doing so can lead to some of the most joyous moments of our lives.
If you are reading this review you probably want to help, you should probably read this book
| Customer Rating: | My wife and I are both first person volunteers (Red Cross and St. Vincent de Paul Society) and we both have full time jobs. I thought that we know about helping until I read this book.
Basically, it starts with a focus on knowing and understanding yourself, tossing in a little mediation practice for good measure. If you are helping to feel better about yourself, you are not really helping.
Along the way there are, as other reviewers have said, inspirational stories that (well) inspire. It is a great balance of discussion and insight with stories about service.
When I got to the section on burn-out, I presumed that I know the answers. I have survive burnout and read several really good books on the subject. Relax, step back, etc. This book has an entirely different perspective that I think is more useful than the other books.
If you want to help people, and I presume if you are reading this book that you do, then you should consider reading this book. Thanks for helping. |
Behind Our Roles To Insight Of A Larger Order Of Objectivity
| Customer Rating: | An excellent book on helping ourselves which in turn act in helping others in a life of service. The awareness first must be found in ourselves before we can exercise the compassion for others. It is here we gain insight into a larger order of lawfulness we cannot understand rationally but which nevertheless resonates within. Compassion becomes an increasingly automatic response.
Ideas conveyed rest in the process of ambiguity and paradox in the realm of not knowing, resting in mystery. Living in the game of subjectivity, we always remain in touch with the silent observer, the witness self in calm abiding and when caught up in subjectivity to see the absurdity of the game and using absurd comedy to deal with it. We end up trusting in a larger pattern beyond the absurd surface world of our actions. We see the truth in uncertainty, we maintain the Zen beginner's mind. We work on ourselves as a vehicle for our higher selves. And we recognize that all of us have a flag to wave which is the folly of our human existence. We are conscious of our lack of integrity while trying to convince others, as we see ourselves from the outside as the silent witness. We see compassion and peace as the only way to make peace in everything we do and are in touch with the quiet self behind all our subjective roles, behind all the thinking, actions and experiences. We see the polarization's of differences as our habits of thinking, seeing beyond the circle of opposites knowing that our mind acts in Gestalt as it perceives and decides in categorizing what is essentially neutral information.
The way to compassion is simply to just listen, stop thinking, stop speaking and listen. be the observer. Its our reactions that determine our pains and sufferings as opposed to the happenings themselves. We acknowledge our weaknesses and refrain from blinding ourselves in subjectivity. Its our dispassionate need as the observer, the we see our own reactions from the view as an outsider watching our reactions as habitual patterns our physical and mental beings perform.
Our thoughts act as clouds that pass by and we can be aware of this if we can gain the ability to observe them as an outside consciousness, alert to when we get sucked up in subjectivity. To rest in awareness in ourselves, with company, allowing and helping others to find themselves. The sage helps the ten thousand things find their own nature. We move away from viewing the world strictly in concepts and recognize the intellect blinds intuitive awareness. We see our self image as a prison we create, roles to survive in this game of life but also a prison for us if we fail to find our higher objective observer selves. We need our roles to survive as humans and communicate with one another but in order not to get trapped in them we have to enter behind our roles out of the blindness.
"The most familiar models of who we are - father and daughter, doctor and patient, helper and helped - often turn out to be major obstacles to the expression of our caring instincts; they limit the full measure of what we have to offer one another . . they are delusions of separateness. Our task is to free our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty . . " p.20
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Every helping professional should read this book
| Customer Rating: | | I am a social worker and an author. I have recently become involved with writing about medical as well as human rights issues. (My book BEHIND THE BURQA, which is to be published in October by John Wiley, is the memoir of two women who escaped the brutality of Afghanistan and the suffering they endured in the US.) Through my work, I have come into contact with people, such as the two subjects of my book, who have endured excruciating circumstances. HOW CAN I HELP sits on my night table so that I can read it after I've come home from interviewing someone in pain. It addresses all the issues that come up when people try to help each other, whether as "helping professionals" or simply as friends or family who are reaching out--guilt, burnout, fear, sense of helplessness--the myriad emotions that afflict those who want to make a difference in the lives of others. HOW CAN I HELP is psychologically astute, spiritually enlightening and written with great gentleness, compassion and occasional moments of humor. I feel the authors have become my mentors and friends. They accompany me to detention centers when I interview imprisoned asylum-seekers who have fled horrific tortures. They're with me when I visit people in the hospital. Their wisdom and guidance inspire me and inform my ability to remain intimately involved with people who have undergone horrible suffering. This book should be required reading in medical schools, psychology and social work programs, and any other context in which people are being trained to work with others in need. |
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