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You may not be his first wife -- but you want to be his last!

More than half of all American women between the ages of 18 and 54 will date or marry a divorced man during their lifetime.

Entering a relationship with any man is daunting. But entering one with a divorced man means navigating a host of new and complicated problems. Will remnants of his past -- his guilt, the X, their children, the financial and legal fallout -- wreak havoc on your sanity and finances and sabotage your quest for love? In this reassuring book, Leslie Fram combines fundamental wisdom, guerrilla tactics, and humor to inform and empower the millions of women who are dating divorcés -- and the many more who someday will.

Average Customer Rating:

This book is not for mature women

Customer Rating:

I found this book to be terrible. Seeing that Fram was the editor of both Seventeen and Cosmo, it's no wonder that this book read like a shi**y magazine article. Fram spends most of the book trying to convince her readers that Divorced Men are helpless and need a woman's touch to "save" them, and that "the X" is a manipulative monster who is out to get the reader and detroy lives. There is nothing in this book for those of us whom wish to build healthy relationships - not just with our boyfriends, but with their ex-wifes as well. To quote "Rare is the FateMate who is blessed with an X she actually likes. In fact, it occurs with woefully so few FateMates that it's not worth my time or ink to write on this subject any further." Two sentences later, the chapter continues with "don't delude yourself, his X inherently hates you." How is this book healthy, productive, or supportive in any constructive way?

Not bad

Customer Rating:

I've already married my divorced man and I wish I had read this before I took the plunge. I can't stress ENOUGH that marrying a divorced man with children, a crazy ex wife and alimony payments is a big freaking deal and that a woman needs to be smart and prepared. That said, this book will help prepapre you for some of the seemingly unbelievable scenarios you will face. I recommend it as a starting point for a woman in the early blissful days of a relationship. You'll need the perspective before you let yourself be taken away by the " love will help us through this!" stage. This book is an easy breesy but eyeopening read. Even now after being married and in the thick of things, I find it helpful!

Some useful advice

Customer Rating:

I found there was some useful advice in this book on understanding what goes through a divorced mans head when dating. It has helped me relate to my own boyfriend better. However, Fram uses the same 2 women as examples in the book who are dating divorced men with similar situations. It would have been nice to include an example of a man who has joint-custody (that is, 50/50) since it is on the rise as well as one who only has custody for 6-8 weeks over the summer.

Decent book

Customer Rating:

Fram's book addresses many of the challenges women face when they marry a divorced man, including his guilt and residual divorce pain, his children, his ex, money, and bringing a new child into the marriage. Fram's take is humorous and geared more toward women who have jobs and have not had children yet. She takes a "modern" view that encourages women to tolerate less baloney than other books I've read on this subject. For these reasons, this book is worth reading and decent overall. However, Fram's book takes a "shotgun" approach to her material, talking about each topic somewhat randomly. She makes some good points, but they are lost in a sea of long paragraphs. In addition, though she provides some valuable advice, there isn't enough of it, and she doesn't go into much depth on most topics. And her case examples are a little weak, using the same 2 people over and over again. Overall, this book gives a woman marrying a divorced man the ability to identify with others in her position and the comfort of knowing her feelings are natural. But it doesn't thoroughly address the problems these women face, or provide enough advice on how to deal with them.

A second time around...

Customer Rating:

I initially purchased this book when I found myself engaged to a divorced man complete with a six year old son. At the time I flipped through the book hoping to find some glimpse of what I was getting myself into, but truthfully it was too soon for me to have known what I was getting out of the deal. A year and half later, just after my first wedding anniversary, my husband pulled this book out of our book box and smiled as he passed it too me like a funny memory. I decided to flip through briefly for memory's sake and then suddenly found myself reading the entire thing from cover to cover a second time around. Eureka! This was exactly what I needed. Something real, something light, yet something powerful. Something that acknowledged every fear and stab of pain and guilt and complete rage I have experienced since my marriage to a divorced man. This book gave me that moment of hope that I needed to feel like all of my anger and resentment and sense of despare wasn't the result of some mental breakdown, and that I wasn't broken. Although the author's writing style might not be for everyone, it worked wonders for me. A book that focuses on the lighter side rather then the morbid process of dealing with someone elses divorce baggage. This had the right amount of business and pleasure. This book didn't make any of my problems go away but it certainly got me to lighten up and get a grip on my circumstances and give my husband a little more benefit of the doubt.