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This is where Sue Patton Thoele steps in, offering practical advice and emotional support in a new edition of her book, The Courage to Be a Stepmom. Much has been written about the nuts and bolts of stepmothering — dealing with a hostile ex-wife, learning to discipline effectively — but this book is the first to focus on the stepmother’s characteristic emotional and spiritual needs.

Stepmothers are often expected to care for their stepchildren as a parent would, yet their efforts frequently go unappreciated and are sometimes met with hostility. Also, they are often targets of misplaced anger or are reminded that they are not the "real mother." Amid such stresses, marriages fray and sometimes fall apart. But according to Ms. Thoele, with the proper skills, women can learn to navigate the pitfalls, get the most from relationships, and meet their own needs.

Thoele’s book addresses stepmothers’ commonly felt emotions — guilt, shame, grief, frustration, and fear — and offers hands-on advice for acknowledging and dealing with them. A practical handbook and comforting friend, this book should be read by every woman who finds herself in the stepmother’s role.

Average Customer Rating:

Definitely recommended

Customer Rating:

This book is one that stepmothers can relate to in an emotional way. It covers a lot of ground in that regard and if you are a new stepmother, that is very helpful. The book outlines the realities of stepmothering without terrifying the reader. It offers reasonable and helpful solutions and steps to find the positives, and the encouragement that stepmothers require to be successful and happy within their role(s). Recommended reading at secondwivesclub.com

Positive Message for Step Parents

Customer Rating:

I purchased this book in the hopes that it would offer practical solutions in a positive way when so many of the other books out there focus on the negative. Several books I had read prior to this one, had me ready to run for the hills and tell the man of my dreams that he could take his kids and crazy ex-wife and get the heck away from me! Happily, this book calmed me down and helped me to realize that I am NOT alone in my confusion, jealousy or fear while at the same time provided me with some very handy tips and support that I have already made good use of. In short, I found this book hugely helpful and would recommend it to anyone contemplating a relationship or marriage to a person with children.

Better than Valium!

Customer Rating:

The first month of being a new stepmom was truly the most terrifying, overwhelming, and frustrating of my life...it was also a wonderful lesson in the strength of the human spirit and the need to tread with humility. I cannot recommend this book enough! I've now been an official stepmom for six months, and am reading the book for the second time...there is just something about it that makes me feel far more calm than my life circumstances do! Maybe it's just knowing that what I'm experiencing is normal and expected...and that I'm not completely losing my mind! This book is not going back to my bookshelf...it's going to sit right next to my side of the bed from here on out.

Excellent help

Customer Rating:

I read this book quite a while ago and am recommending it to a friend who will also become a step-mom soon. The best advice is: "Don't try to be the "birth-mom", you won't replace her and you can't deal with the comparison with the other woman. Also, the advice to step back, I had a huge issue whenever my stepdaughter misbehaved that it was a reflection on my parenting and me. Rather than just understanding that an 7,8,9,10, etc. year-old will misbehave no matter what, this book helped me realize that I didn't need to take it so personally.

Informative	Customer Rating:
I was a new step mom when I bought this book and found it informative and helpful.