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David Gilmour Lays His Parental Soul Bare

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David Gilmour's portrayal of grappling with his teenage son's unconventional coming-of-age journey is a fascinating read. Gilmour lays his parental soul bare, exposing his most vulnerable moments of fear, failure and regret; each of which any parent can relate too. This narrative is in turns humerous, poignant and bewildering, if only for the fact that despite Gilmour's and Jessie's fumbles and stumbles, somehow Jessie survives, and their father-son relationship remains true.

A new style of parenting

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At age 16, Jesse isn't handling school well. So Jesse's dad, David Gilmour, makes a radical decision. Let the kid stay home but they'll watch 3 movies a week together. When reviewing memoir, separating our judgment of the protagonist from the quality of the book can be challenging. I don't have kids and I haven't studied child psychology. But I don't see why so many readers criticize David. Kids grow up when they're ready. Perhaps David could have imposed other conditions, such as insisting Jesse get a job. Perhaps he could have consulted a child psychologist. But he didn't do any of those things and so we have the Film Club. Not being knowledgeable about film, I was intrigued by the discussion of the different films and the scenes to watch for. I was less intrigued by the ups and downs of Jesse's love life: boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets depressed. David tries to walk the fine line between supporting his son and losing the father role. "Hey, I've been there too" can come across like trying too hard to be a buddy. In the end, Jesse survives and we see him starting to thrive as a songwriter. Judging by the outcome, the Film Club was a success. Other reviewers have dismissed the Film Club -- the 3 movies a week ritual -- as irrelevant. Most kids do a lot of growing up between ages 16 and 19. But I'm reminded of Robert Parker's book, Early Autumn. It's in the murder mystery genre but in my opinion it's the best book on child-rearing this non-parent has ever read. At one point the hero, Spenser the one-named detective, says something more or less like, "I need to teach him something. If I knew differential equations, I would. But I don't. I have to teach him what I know." So Spenser teaches a troubled young teen how to build a house and how to get physically fit. In my experience, Spenser is right. Mastering a skill can be empowering for kids (and adults too). We don't usually think of film criticism as a skill and Jesse didn't seem that interested. But teens are like sponges. He actually learned a lot sitting on that couch with his dad. So sure, David could have sent Jesse to expensive military schools. They live in Canada. where mental health options vary from province to province and "hating school" might not qualify for treatment covered by the health plan. But David could have paid for mental health professionals who might label the boy with a diagnosis he'd carry for life. Both David and Jesse, and Jesse's Mom who's a friendly ex-wife, would have experienced stress, anguish and financial pain. To what end? It would be fun to discuss this book with parents and child psych experts. As a mere reader, I enjoyed the book and found much to think about.

A Simple Review

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Short book = short review 1. Gilmour turns some excellent phrases. 2.Film insights are helpful and debateable e.g. being dismissive of Singing in the Rain 3.Attitudes toward smoking and drinking, if univeralized, would lead to a godawful society. 4.High level of egocentricity is displayed in his minor considerations of his wives and his daughter as well as the random woman who bore her. 5. Watch a few Preston Sturges movies instead esp. Sullivan's Travels

glitz but no depth

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My friend said this book would fail or be bad if the author didn't clue you in on some films, which made perfect sense to me (and I watch film). Unfortunately, that's about the only thing the book does well; makes you want to see or rewatch some films. The other parts, the father-son relationship, the presumed failure of the educational system, the son having an epiphany about his life through watching film, (because the father tries to make connections but the son usually just shrugs), or even how films can produce such epiphanies or connections, are all, well, missing or barely addressed. Maybe that is because there isn't much substance a teenager (at least this one) can make yet; he's concerned about girls. But still, moments that could have used more depth like when Dad tells son "you could be a film critic now" are just dropped, nothing happens. So in the end what's the point? You spend three years watching films with your kid, you bond, (which I'm sorry, anyone who has that kind of time would bond) the kid grows up anyway. It's like one of those college frat party movies. If you go to the frat movie wanting to be entertained, that's great, but since it's no Lawrence of Arabia, you won't remember it. If you expect more then some skin and gross humor from the frat film, forget it. And that's the problem with this book; it had potential to be so much more, to have insight and epiphanies, but in the end all you have is a befuddled Dad, an angst-ridden son (over school, over girls), who are both slightly more grown up in the end, yeah, but what either of them (and by extension the reader) learned, well, that's a mystery. There are better father-son memoirs and novels to read out there.

Not a how to parent book...

Customer Rating:

...Not meant to be. But it is an honest diary like look into the mind of a parent with a troubled son during a troubled time in said parent's career. There are tender moments and it's a good thing it was a quick read or I wouldn't have finished. The writer's own life and voice and complaints and self-pity about career bothered me more than a relatively common adolescent's life. I'm shocked he was a known film critic in Canada because his film insights and antedotes (about 70s hollywood) were basic if not lifted from Easy Riders and Raging Bulls. Not sure if I would recommend but there were some very moving moments between father and son and dialogue caught that made it almost hard to be the voyuer allowed into this world.