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Honest and fun memoir

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I absolutely love memoirs, especially memoirs about music and rock bands, so I was thrilled when I discovered When I Grow Up: A Memoir by Juliana Hatfield. Now, I have to own up and say that I had never heard of Hatfield and I am not a huge fan of alternative music - however, having said that, I must also admit that I adored this book. I think this is a must-read for anybody who has dreams of becoming a big rock star. I have often wondered what happened to all of those rock stars of the 80's who seem to be everywhere while I was in my teens and then POOF! Suddenly just disappeared! Well, in When I Grow Up, Hatfield pretty well explains it. Although she found some success in the 1990's - and may have become a household name for some, she never managed to make it quite to the pinnacle and was therefore, relegated to `being on the road' the hard way. What follows is an honest, down to earth memoir about her experiences as an alternative rock star - the ups and the (very) lows that she had to endure. None of it is particularly glamourous and I think I would have given up a long time ago - however, Hatfield is obviously devoted to her music - which is where her true dedication lies. This book is informative, depressing, funny and everything in between. A great buy for anybody who dreams of being the next Mick Jagger

Pleased to make her acquaintance

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While reading Juliana Hatfield's memoir, the title, "When I Grow Up," caused my mind to queue the old Beach Boys song, "When I Grow Up to Be a Man." The title wasn't going to bring to mind any of the author's own songs because I didn't know any. It's a generational thing, I guess. By the early '90s when, as the back cover tells us, Hatfield had launched a successful solo career, popular music was no longer on my radar. I wasn't oblivious to the sounds of those whom the media deemed Generation X (or was it Generation Y?), but I no longer "followed" contemporary music. The only Hatfields I knew were the ones who feuded with the McCoys. "I'm not a celebrity," Hatfield writes. "I only kind of sort of almost was, once." She is, however, a dedicated artist whose music was the source of her self-esteem. "It made me feel like I had value, like I mattered, like all the broken pieces of me fit together." In this well-written memoir, Hatfield peels away the tinsel that makes the musician's life appear glamourous to the audience, and reveal the ups and downs she's experienced in her career. The monotony of touring, especially without the trappings that come with major success, is contrasted with the rewards of performing and sharing her heart and soul with an appreciative audience. She is awed that a fan travels all the way from the UK to attend two shows on the East Coast. Knowing that her music inspired such devotion, even as it failed to reach a mass audience, affirms her belief that her choice of career was "a calling. It was foreordained." So now I know who Juliana Hatfield is: a gifted, dedicated artist and a thoughtful, down to earth woman whose memoir is bound to please her devoted fans. But if you're like me, and this book serves as your introduction to Hatfield, you may be pleased to make her acquaintance and also seek out her music. I know I will. If it's as good as her book, I may become a devoted fan. Brian W. Fairbanks

Rock Star Sings the Blues

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This book centers on the complaints Juliana Hatfield has regarding a tour she completed about five years ago. She traveled across the country in a van which she often drove herself. Because she was not a superstar with megabucks, she had to endure things like unpleasant motel rooms and crummy/non-existent dressing rooms. Although she never had to play Phil's Pancakes and Beer in Ratholesville, some of the places don't appear to be much better. There also are fleeting references to an unhappy childhood. One poignant recollection concerned a question she asked her father when she was ten. She was troubled by a bump on her skull that she feared might be a brain tumor. She asked her father if such a bump could be a tumor, and he, a radiologist, said "It might be." She said she worried about this for months until she realized that brain tumors do not manifest themselves in this way. She recounts stories of weird, boorish fans. She complains about the dismal "riders" (free food and drinks) that some of the clubs provided for her band. There was tension involving her road manager and her "merch guy" who sold T-shirts and CDs at her shows. There are many stories that remind us how very heartless people can be. Basically, Hatfield projects herself as a sensitive person in a very insensitive world. Hatfield made it clear that she often suffers from low self-esteem and has stretches of deep dark depression. She is unhappy with her voice, disappointed that she can't belt them out like Joan Jett and Chrissie Hynde. Her voice (which she describes as "young sounding, chirpy") seems great to me on such songs as "This Lonely Love" and "Not Enough" from her 2008 album How to Walk Away. I hope that she is able to release her God's Foot album, which was nixed by Atlantic. It seems to me that Hatfield has a lot of talent. Although this book suffers from too many variations on the same theme, there are powerfully written passages. I could see her writing, say, a novel. She has several hits. She received a $400,000 advance from Atlantic Records in 1992 when it seemed likely she would reach the rock heights to which she aspired. But she never reached those heights; she was on a downward slide at the time of the tour featured in the book. That she had such great expectations that were not realized is the driving force behind the angst which is pervasive in this memoir. Annoyingly, the book skips around from the aforementioned tour to the beginning of her career in the late eighties, to her gravy days in the early nineties, to the tour again, with occasional references to her childhood thrown in. Added to the mix are accounts of her career covering the period just before publication. There's just too much detail. Hatfield references a journal. Clearly, she kept a detailed journal and was willing to share with readers several accounts of such trivia as exactly what she ordered for meals and exactly what she purchased at some store near a club where she would sing a little later. Her careful attention to food likely is a product of the anorexia that she suffered. She certainly is not afraid to admit a weakness. She seems to be extremely open and honest about her life. She offers much insight about songwriting and the tough business of making music. Highly recommended for Juliana Hatfield fans and for anyone who is curious about the everyday life of a touring rock band on a limited budget. But the average Joe or Jolinda who is looking for a quick, fun read should keep looking.

What's it REALLY like to be a rock star?

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This is a very entertaining and thoughtfully-written book about Juliana Hatfield as a work in progress. It is a book about someone caught in the middle: Someone who has made it big enough that everybody knows her name, but not Elton John, private-jet big. Someone who has enough neuroses to make finding love a challenge, but not enough to create drug-and alcohol-fueled self-destruction. It is apparently an honest book that is neither self-serving nor overly modest. It is a amusing and informative about Juliana, and about the world of alternative rock, with discourses on music in 5/4 time and the evils of Clear Channel. There is a bit of repetitiveness (yet another cramped dressing room and stale sandwiches in another backwater city?), but the book is fun to read, with just enough seriousness to make you think a little. (I took it on vacation with me and it was a perfect read.) It will be even more fun to listen to her music now, and to see what the next chapter of Juliana Hatfield's career brings.

A candid look into a private soul

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I've long been a fan of Juliana Hatfield and was pleased to discover this book. Hatfield discusses her life and her music by providing a narrative of a recent tour interspersed with older memories of first forming a band, her childhood, particular important moments in her life, etc. This method works well and lends structure to the work. The book feels more like a conversation than a narrative; Hatfield manages to bridge the gap between writer and reader seamlessly (much like in her music, which also invites emotional identification). Unfortunately this also tends to make any criticism of the work appear to be a criticism of the writer, as the book is so personal; and while I feel this book will be of high interest to Hatfield's fans, I'm not sure anyone not familiar with her would find much of deep interest here. Her very candor is a pleasant surprise, given how private and shy she herself admits to being; but there are pieces of the narrative that feel similar in spots, as if you'd already heard this part of the story. I'd certainly recommend this to any of Juliana's fans, and I found it very interesting; but again, those not familiar with the artist or her work may not get as much out of it.